The thing about Iran

My friend from Iran came to visit this weekend.

You can stop furrowing those eyebrows now.

Rife with politically incorrect jokes about the "Axis of Evil," he spent the weekend on the futon and caught me up on the life of an Iranian ex-pat turned American college co-ed. His father served as an Iranian diplomat throughout most of his life, meaning my friend grew up in Oman, India, Sri Lanka, Algeria and of course, Iran.

The various stints in other countries and an American undergraduate experience have given him a unique perspective, indeed. His parents have returned to Iran, but both his sister and brother are studying and working in the United States. He craves The Colbert Report, tried every flavor of frozen custard at Anderson's and implored me about the existence of Trader Joe's in Buffalo. Needless to say, he fully intends to become an American citizen.

Here are some of the fascinating highlights from the weekend per his commentaries:

Movies worth seeing: 2007's Academy Award nominated "Persepolis." To be honest, on a scale of one to ten, my knowledge of Iran was about a two. This movie bumped it up to at least a four or five. My Iranian friend says it's a fairly accurate portrayal of history (at least the last 40 years or so) in Iran, with many of the current issues presented still holding true today. And no, this movie wasn't shown in Iran.

On enriching uranium: He's not a fan of the current regime, so he was concerned about their ambitions. However, in defense of his homeland he said Iran, like many other countries, had signed the non-proliferation agreement and should be allowed to have nuclear energy, not weapons. His fear, like that of many, is an arms race that could be disastrous if left unchecked.

Persian vs. Farsi: Call the language Persian. He thinks it's weird when you Show-Offs call it Farsi. Why is it not called Iranian? In a nut shell, Iranians have always called their country Iran, but the rest of the world called it Persia for a long time. Once they decided to reassert their namesake, it took so long to get recognition, the language title more or less fell by the wayside. So in English, that means Iranians speak Persian. Not Arabic. It looks like Arabic because it's written with the Arabic alphabet, but just because French is written with the same alphabet as English doesn't make it English.

On the head scarf: Women are forced to wear them in Iran. SallyJaneTourist would even have to wear one. My friend doesn't agree with or like this rule.

On Niagara Falls: Amazing. Simply amazing. It's a shame he can't cross over to the Canadian side without a visa. Everyone knows the view is better...

Is everybody Muslim in Iran?: No. Are lots of people Muslim? Yes. Is my friend? No.

Is alcohol really illegal in Iran?: Yes, think Prohibition and you're on the right track. Has just about everything illegal gone underground under the current regime? Yes.

Do Iranians hate Americans: No, in fact, most Iranians have never met an American and would be very excited to meet AverageJoeTourist. They do, however, vividly recall the air strikes by Saddam and fear potential attacks of that nature.

Was your dad ambassador to America?: "Ambassadors/embassies/consulates are normally only in countries where relations are solid. Thus, there is no Iranian embassy in the USA and no American embassy in Iran." Third world countries have it kind of tough, he said.

Why there aren't tanning salons in India: "In India, there are more skin-lightening creams than there are shampoos for sale at the drug store." He admitted this was a slight exaggeration, but only slightly. Many Indians, he says, like in some other cultures, prize fair skin. He cited actual television commercials where Indians from southern provinces use the creams and exclaim a la American infomercial, "Now I look like I'm from such and such Northern province! (notorious for fairer skinned individuals)." And we thought all the rage was the bronzer the better. Now I find myself smearing on spray-on-tan and exclaiming, "Now I look like I'm from California!" It doesn't have quite the same ring.