The thing about studies

Road ragers: apply here.
That's what the ad should have said.

I saw one of those adverts for a study at a local university, no scary trial medicines involved, just driving. How bad can that be? They give you cash for driving. Right? Sounds good.

The woman at the research institute said I had to answer some preliminary questions to qualify for the study itself. After a few minorly invasive questions about my health history and a brief explanation about the nature of the study, the questions started. Actual questions like this:

"Do you ever purposely try to run other drivers off the road?"

From a researcher's perspective, this might be useful knowledge, but from a sheer ethical and moral standpoint, don't you want to do something if someone answers "all the time" or even "sometimes?"

Other questions included:
"How often do you try to get the best of other drivers?"
"How often do you overtake other drivers while passing them in the wrong lane?"
"How often do you get into arguments with other drivers?"
"How often do you swear at other drivers?"

I guess I'm way too mild a driver. I said 'never' so often, by the end I was desperately hoping they were looking for well-adjusted, mild-tempered drivers. Not so.

So. If you often want to "cut off another driver to get even" or "chase another driver," I've got the perfect study for you.

I just hope you don't live in my town.